Advantages and Disadvantages of having food vending machines in school boundaries

Please read instructions 275 words and 5 sentences for paragraphs.. it is a basic essay with strong thesis statement and supporting detail.. I did it essay and I am going to attach some comment about it that you can read.. Also I added a from model • Determine the purpose of writing to task and audience. • Provide a section that effectively introduces the topic. • Formulate a relevant thesis or claim. • Organize ideas and details effectively. • Provide adequate, relevant support by citing ample textual evidence; response may also include anecdotal experience for added support. • Use of a variety of transitional devices effectively throughout and within a written text. • Demonstrate proficient use of college-level, standard written English (e.g., varied word choice, syntax, language conventions, semantics). • Provide a concluding statement or section that follows from, or supports, the argument or information presented. • Use a variety of sentence patterns effectively. • Maintain consistent point of view. • Apply the conventions of standard English (e.g., avoid inappropriate use of slang, jargon, clichés).